


I Will Always Remember You

by awdirectioners



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, Mentions of Cancer, unexpected ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-29
Updated: 2013-12-30
Packaged: 2018-01-06 14:21:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 18,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1107903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awdirectioners/pseuds/awdirectioners
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When I arrived at the airport, I had to wait for over an hour as the flight was leaving at 1PM. Harry hadn’t called me again. He was probably having fun with the boys at the show they were. I was trying not to cry. It wasn’t easy at all leaving them. Putting on my headphones and turning the volume up, I tried to block the world for a little while.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One.

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this fanfic in late 2011 and was posting until middle 2012. It had reached over 170,000 reads, 1,000 votes & 500 comments on Wattpad but then I accidentally deleted it. At first I wasn't planning on re-posting -because I wrote it when I was fifteen after all and it's nothing like my fanfics now- it but then many people were asking for it so here it is again. Hope you enjoy it. Much love x

“When someone walks out of your life they are giving you the sign there is someone better to be in your life.” — Unknown

I took a deep breath but the tears kept on falling from my eyes. I whipped them away using the sleeve of the hoodie Harry had given me. Who was I kidding? I wasn’t strong enough to do this. “You’re doing this for Harry.” I reminded myself. “He doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve going through all this pain, just because you didn’t think of the consequences.” But then, the memories started flooding me. We had been together for five months now. The most beautiful but painful at the same time, months of my life.

Suddenly my phone started vibrating. It was him. I couldn’t answer of course. More tears started falling. I couldn’t believe that I wasn’t going to see him again. It was all my fault. What was I thinking from the start? I knew it would end like this, I knew I would break his heart.

I buried my head in my hands, waiting. I had to go back to our apartment, to pack my bags, but I didn’t want to see him, no. Louis left me no choice anyway. I had to wait until they would leave for the interview. But time, refused to pass. Where was I going? Back to my house? Was Harry going to search for me? So many questions were haunting me, but I had no answers. I got up from the bench that I was sitting for the last couple of hours; my knees were so weak, I could barely walk. “It’s coming to an end soon.” I comforted myself.

The apartment where I had been living with Harry wasn’t far from the park. Burying my face into my hoodie I was trying not to get recognised. It was the last thing I wanted now. Keeping balance was far from hard now. Walking was killing me.

When I arrived out of the flat, I had to make sure they had gone so I looked around for his car. It was nowhere to be found. I quietly made my way upstairs.

Taking my suitcase, I started throwing all my clothes and stuff in it. Harry and I, had only come back from our holidays yesterday and since I hadn’t unpacked yet, it didn’t take me too long to prepare everything. I turned on the computer and as I waited for it to load I removed all my photos and the ones we had together from our photo album. Was I overreacting? No, not at all. “Like you never existed.” Louis had warned me.

Deleting all my personal accounts on the internet would make it even harder for Harry or anyone to come in contract with me; but something inside me, wanted him to find me so then I could apologise and say how sorry I really was.

New tears started falling from my eyes as I closed the door behind me. When I stepped out of the flat I looked around one more time, for a taxi to get me to the airport. I wasn’t going to my mother’s house though. Actually, I didn’t really know where I was going. I got lost in my thoughts for several minutes. “Somewhere where Harry won’t find you.” I thought to myself. In a relative that I had never talked about, to him. But which one?

To my dad in Manchester. That was it.

When I arrived at the airport, I had to wait for over an hour as the flight was leaving at 1PM. Harry hadn’t called me again. He was probably having fun with the boys at the show they were. I was trying not to cry. It wasn’t easy at all leaving them. Putting on my headphones and turning the volume up, I tried to block the world for a while.

When the plane took off, it made realise that the chapter ‘One Direction’ had come to an end.


	2. Part Two.

"Every end is a new beginning." - Unknown

The flight was pretty boring. Actually, I was crying during half of it. The man, who was sitting next to me, would have thought I had gone crazy. But I didn't really care. As soon as I hoped off the plane I called my dad so he would come and pick me up. The house wasn't far from the airport so it didn't take him long to arrive.

"What happened back in London? I'm sure that you didn't leave Harry and the boys for no reason." He asked while we were in the car, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"I don't want to talk about it. At least not now." I replied as I tried to hold back my tears.

"As you wish!" He shrugged and turned on the radio.

I was enjoying the music until 'What Makes You Beautiful' came on. “Don't cry Caitlin. Don't cry Caitlin.” I thought to myself but I couldn't help it. Especially when Harry's solo started my eyes got instantly wet.

"I should better turn it off." He recommended but I didn't let him. "No! Don't! I'm alright." I protested while rubbing my eyes as the memories started flooding me one more time. I looked out of the window so my dad wouldn’t see.

When we reached the house, I quickly took my suitcase and ran to my room without saying anything. I needed some time alone, to think.

My father was living alone and unlike my mother he hadn't re-married. Some photos with them and me when they were still together were hanging on the walls. Well, my parents had divorced when I was five years old. But I never really learned the reason why. None of them ever talked about it. Even though we weren’t as close as we wished we were, we were both trying our best every time I visited.

My room was just the way it was thirteen years ago when my mum, my older sister Claire and I moved to London. The walls were painted in a light blue which matched with the light yellow curtains. A huge bed was just in the middle of it. I threw my stuff on the floor and lay down on the bed.

Suddenly my phone started blowing up. As it wasn't working while I was on the plane I received a message with all the missed calls. Fifteen from Harry, thirteen from Zayn, eight from Niall, five from Liam and another ten from my mother. Louis didn't even bother as he knew I wasn't going to answer anyway.

"Dad!" I called him, still on my bed.

He came running. "Are you alright? Do you need something?" He asked really worried.

"I'm fine. Just promise me something."

He seemed confused. "I do. Tell me sweetheart."

I took a deep breath. "Okay. Just don't tell anyone that I'm here in Manchester, not even mum. I’m going to call her and tell her that I’m alright so she doesn’t call the police or anything but if she calls you, just tell her I talked to you on phone too and said exactly the same I did to her. Don’t let her know I’m here, please."

"Sure but you must tell me what happened first. Does Harry know about...?" He trailed off.

I sniffed and shock my head. "No, Louis found out though." I shrugged not even trying to hold back the tears.

He came closer and hugged me. "What did he say?" He questioned nervously, already knowing that something bad had happened.

"I couldn't stay any longer; I was just making it harder. For me, for him, for both of us." I mumbled, not exactly answering his question.

"Actually, it's hard for everyone around you." He admitted while holding back his own tears.

"I'm thinking of taking a walk in the neighbourhood. I need some fresh air." I said, crying.

I got up and stormed out of the house as more tears came. I could barely breathe. When I stepped out, the cold wind hit my face. I sniffed and tried to shock all the thoughts away. Soon enough I found myself sitting on one of the park's benches, which was just two blocks away, thinking of those five amazing months.


	3. Part Three.

[2 weeks later, 21 May 2012]

I looked at the blank page one more time and sighed, disappointed. This was supposed to be a letter to Harry but it seemed like I had ran out of words and thoughts. I didn’t know how to start, what I should tell him. Maybe that I still loved him even though he thought the exact opposite? Yes, that was a good idea.

My hands were sweaty and shaking and I couldn’t hold the pen steady. “Dear Harry,” I started. I stared at the two words for a good five minutes and then tore the page in little pieces. Why was it so hard?

I bit the inside of my bottom lip and then decided to go for a walk and breathe some fresh air. Since I had no friends here in Manchester or anyone to talk to in general, walking alone around here was something I was doing a lot lately. Well, I had my dad actually, but what could I tell him about my relationship with Harry? We weren’t really close and even having lunch together some days felt awkward.

I dragged myself out of my bed and walked out of my room. He was in the kitchen preparing dinner, it smelt really nice. It was probably lasagna -my favourite, he knew it- but I really didn’t want to eat anything as my stomach was already complaining even at the thought. “Dad…” I started, my voice so weak, it took me a few seconds to realise it was mine. “I’m going out.” I continued. He came near me to hold me but I raised my hands to stop him. “I’m alright.” I mumbled and folded my arms around my chest. He stepped back and let me walk to the door. “Don’t wait for me for dinner, I’m not hungry.” I informed him when I reached the door and when he nodded, left.

Even though it was late May, it was still very cold. When the freezing wind hit my face, I cringe and buried my head in my hoodie. I looked around for a minute, searching for a place to go. I hadn’t been here in Manchester for more than three years. When my parents divorced my sister and I had to visit him every summer but after a few years I refused to, I just couldn’t see him alone, like that. Sometimes I still believed that he wasn’t over my mum yet.

Suddenly I remembered a small cafe he used to take me and Claire for hot chocolate when we were little. It was just down the road, so I decided to go there. When I got in, the strong smell of coffee made my head dizzy, but I liked it. Looking around, I found the perfect table -next to the window- and dragged myself there.

“Would you like to order?” A young girl asked smiling. She was around my age with long black hair and big blue eyes. “A hot chocolate please.” I smiled gently. “And would you like anything else?”

“No, thank you.” I mumbled and she walked away. I looked out of the window and smiled proudly to myself, the view was breath-taking, yes, and this table was a great choice.

After a few minutes Harry popped up in my head. Where was he? What was he doing now? It had been a couple of weeks since I had left him and I was sure I missed him and loved him more than ever.

Right now, I believed that the plan Louis had come up with -to prevent Harry from getting his heart broken and included me, leaving them- was really stupid but I agreed to do it back then and sadly, I couldn’t change anything now. Deep inside me though, I knew Harry hadn’t believed any of this shit Louis told him about me. He knew that I loved him. I had proved it to him a million times, in many different ways. But he had to believe it. He had to forget about me. Because when all these would end… Well, maybe Louis was right. Maybe, getting him to hate me would be easier and quicker.

Either way I had broken his heart.

“Here you are.” The girl snapped me out of my thoughts and placed the mug in front of me. “Thank you.” I smiled gently but she continued standing there. “Are you Caitlin? Harry Styles’s girlfriend?” “Shit.” I instantly thought. Being recognised was the last thing I wanted, because that also meant being found.

“No.” I giggled and then looked up to her. “Many people think I’m her though but to be honest I don’t even know who Harry Styles is.” I shrugged laughing. “Oh, I’m so sorry then-” She tried to apologise but I stopped her. “Don’t worry.” I smiled and by turning my gaze away, ended the conversation. I had lied but didn’t really care.

After an hour I made my way back to my house, my dad was sitting in the living room and seemed really worried. When he saw me, he jumped up and hugged me. “Where were you?” He demanded to know. “Out…” I answered innocently. “I’m going to bed.” I said after a few seconds and headed to my bedroom. I had to finish Harry’s letter. I had to finish it before it was too late.


	4. Part Four.

“This is start of something beautiful, this is start of something new.” — This, Ed Sheeran

[6 months earlier, 22 December 2011]

“Oh my God! I can’t believe we’re here! Caitlin, we’re here!” Margaret fangirled as she got out of the taxi. “It’s 8£.” The driver said politely before I could turn to my friend. I pulled out my wallet and handed him the money. “Thank you.” He smiled and I did so as well, while getting off the car.

As soon as he started the engine and drove off I turned and looked at the venue with a huge smile on my face. I couldn’t believe I was finally seeing One Direction live in just a few hours. I had been a fan for over a year now and no matter all the things I did, I never had the chance to get a ticket or get noticed in any way possible.

“We’ve been waiting for this for too long, haven’t we?” Margaret asked me with a cheeky smile on her face as if she was reading my thoughts. “Yes.” I replied quietly even though her question was rhetorical.

As soon as I checked the time on my phone I let out a small sigh. It was 5PM, which meant we had to wait for over one hour for the concert to begin. We had started early since we didn’t want to possibly miss any minute of the show in case there was traffic or, anything out of plan happened.

“Should we go for a milkshake or something? It’s quite early.” I suggested and she nodded in agreement. We had been around here many times so since we knew the area well, we headed to a beautiful coffee shop which was near.

Even though we both lived in London, we had only found tickets for the show in Manchester and since my dad lived here, he was more than happy to have us stay at his place for a couple of days.

We weren’t speaking in most of our way there but as soon as we got near I decided to break the silence. “What are you thinking of?”

“Isn’t it a bit sad how this day will mean a lot to us since we’re finally seeing our idols but to them it will be just another show? Or, let me rephrase it. A few minutes with them will probably change our lives but to the boys they will just be a couple of minutes with some other fans?” She shrugged and then bit her lip. I sighed. I knew this feeling. It always upset me how I would never have the chance to be with one of them or even just be their friend. “Never say never.” I winked and then we both started laughing.

We had arrived to coffee shop by now so we both ordered our drinks and sat outside since the weather was good today. We were having a great time joking and laughing.

“Hm… Next question. If you could date any of the boys, who would you date?” I asked her. Every time we were bored or had nothing to do we always ended up asking each other silly questions. She thought about it for a few seconds. “Probably Niall. What about you?” She winked and then giggled. “Like you don’t already know the answer.” I laughed; she knew Harry was my favourite. “Oh, yes! How could I forget? It’s Harry, always Harry.” She said and after a couple of seconds we both burst out laughing.

She pulled out her phone and said shocked: “Oh my God! It’s already six o’clock!”

“Okay, we should better make our way back to the venue. The show starts in half an hour.” She nodded and we both stood up, still laughing.

* * *

“You’re insecure, don’t know what for…” Liam sang the first lines of What Makes You Beautiful and every fan started screaming. I looked at Margaret shocked of how she could still sing at the top of her lungs. I had lost my voice before they played their fifth song. Although, I was still dancing and jumping up and down.

“Everyone else in the room can see it, everyone else but you -ou.” Harry sang the pre-chorus and I couldn’t, not let out a scream, a huge smile never leaving me face.

Suddenly I felt really dizzy and everything around me started spinning. I tried to breathe but I couldn’t. I jumped up and started running to the exit. But it was too late, after a few seconds, while I was still inside, everything around me went black.


	5. Part Five.

“Cause I see sparks fly, whenever you smile.” — Sparks Fly, Taylor Swift

[Harry’s P.O.V.]

I was dancing with Louis -actually more of jumping around the stage like an idiot- while Zayn was singing his verse in What Makes You Beautiful. Soon it was time for me to sing the pre-chorus but something else caught my attention. A lot of fans were gathering around… something, or someone?

Liam tried to cover up for me by singing my part. “What’s wrong mate?” Niall whispered when he approached me. I didn’t speak but as soon as he followed my gaze he mumbled: “What’s wrong?” I shrugged since I didn’t really know. I made my way to the end of the stage and knelt down to one of the security guards. “Can you check what’s going on there, please?” I pointed with my hand and he nodded.

After a couple of minutes, another guard came and made a gesture so I would come near him. “A girl fainted.” He mumbled, biting his lip.

“What?” I asked shocked and then jumped off the stage without second-thinking. I walked fast to that direction while telling to everyone gently to get out of the way. The guard followed me and did the same. I had to push a few fans at first but soon enough they all stepped back for me.

When I finally reached the spot the girl was at, I sat down next to her. Come on Harry, you know what to do when someone faints, you used to take lessons. I took a deep breath. “Alright, alright.” I replied to the little voice in my head.

Step one: Position the person on his/her back. Make sure the legs are elevated, if possible above the heart level. I looked around and carried her 'till the wall. Then, I positioned her body as I should.

Step two: Check the person’s airway to be sure it’s clear. “Open every single door in here, we need fresh air! And tell to everyone to keep a distance from us.” I shouted at the security guard next to me and he did as he was told.

Step three: Check for signs of circulation (breathing, coughing or movement). If absent, begin CPR. I put my cheek over her mouth and looked down at her chest, to look for rise and fall. “She’s not breathing.” I thought out loud and tried not to panic. “Okay Harry, begin CPR.” I said to myself.

I put one hand on top of the other and linked my fingers, and then I locked the elbows and push sharply down on her chest thirty times. There was no response. Next, mouth to mouth. I pinched her nose so no air would escape and blew oxygen into her mouth twice. Now, check her breathing again. Before I could lean in closer she slowly opened her eyes. She looked up to me surprised.

“Don’t say a word.” I said softly, meeting her eyes. “You fainted, but now you’re fine.” She nodded, and a smile escaped my lips. “Oh, take this.” I said and took off my jacket. I covered her body with it and she mouthed: “Thank you.” I nodded, biting my lip. “When you feel better, I will take you backstage, okay?” I informed her and she nodded one more time.

“You did an amazing job mate. Well done.” Niall said, tapping my shoulder. I turned to face him. “Yeah… Thanks.” I mumbled and then inhaled sharply.

I turned back to the girl. “What’s your name?” I questioned her. “Caitlin.” She responded, her voice weak.

“Okay, Caitlin. Come on, I will take you backstage. There are too many people in here.” I stretched my hand for her to take it. She did so and I helped her stand up. I put my hand around her waist and together we walked to the door that leaded us backstage. There were a couple of guards in front of us, trying to make room for me and Caitlin and telling everyone to stay out of our way.

As soon as we reached our changing room, I made her sit on the huge couch we had. “You can rest here for a while.” I told her and she thanked me.

“Drink this; it will help you feel better.” Liam said and handed her a glass of orange juice.

“Thank you.” She smiled at him and then did as she was told.

“So… What happened and you fainted?” I asked her in a caring tone that surprised me a little bit.

“Well…” She hesitated. “I wasn’t feeling that well, and then I couldn’t breathe. I tried to go outside but it was too late…?” She explained a bit embarrassed.

“Don’t worry. It’s okay. Are you sick, or do you have asthma or anything that could cause that?” She looked a bit surprised and then mumbled a quick: “No.”

[Caitlin's P.O.V.]

“We have to go back on stage to finish the show but we will be back soon. Stay here, our bodyguard will keep an eye on you.” Harry explained pointing to their bodyguard that stood by the door. I nodded and when he left, I took out my phone to text Margaret who was probably worried about me.

The boys took me backstage. Please don’t call my parents, no need to make ‘em worry, I’m alright now x

Good to hear :) Harry freaking Styles kissed you! Asdfghjkl! You should have seen how everyone reacted when he did so! There are already rumours spreading about you two. The best one that I heard was that you and Harry have been dating for very long and now you’re pregnant. LOL

I laughed reading her text and then typed: Most of them though probably hate me.

“Are you alright now? It would be good if you walked a little.” He asked when he entered the room smiling. I blushed and then nodded.

When I stood up he looked at me. “We will leave from the back door, I don’t want any fans to chase us or anything.” He explained and I simply shrugged. This still felt so unreal.

He took my hand and squeezed it slightly. “Don’t faint again, Caitlin.” I thought to myself and took a deep breath to calm down.

“Follow me and don’t let go of it in case someone sees us.”

“Alright.” I replied, looking at him a bit scared.

“No need to be afraid, but sometimes our fans… impress us, if I can put it that way.” He shrugged and I laughed.

We walked through some corridors and finally reached the back door after a couple of minutes. There was a guard there but as soon as he recognised Harry, he let us pass.

He squeezed my hand one more time before stepping out of the venue.


	6. Part Six.

“Can't you see that it's worth the fight?” — My Heart Beats For Love, Miley Cyrus

[One month later, 22 January 2012]

“I can’t believe you’re dating Harry Styles. I mean, Harry freaking Styles.” Margaret said excitingly. I rolled my eyes and then let out a small laugh. “I know I’m really lucky.” I said breaking into a grin while applying my mascara. “Have you ever thought that if you didn’t faint during the concert you wouldn’t have met him?” She asked meeting my eyes. It took only a moment for the words to register and I just shrugged. “Yes, all the time, to be honest.”

“Fainting...” She mumbled. “…The best way to meet your boyfriend.” She joked and I giggled.

“Is he going to pick you up?” She questioned after a few seconds while staring at the clothes in my closet, looking for the perfect outfit for me.

“No. He’s already at the venue with the boys.” I exhaled sharply. “Anyway, what do you have ready for me?” I winked.

She pointed at the clothes that were on my bed. It was some black tight jeans, a white shirt with black stripes and my black ankle boots. I smiled. “What would I do without you?” I laughed and then started changing.

“Come on, take this jacket too.” She said and handed me my black jacket. “Oh, where are your accessories?” I pointed at the little box that I had on my desk while trying to fit in my jeans. “Wear this one as well.” She gave me a bracelet.

“You should become a stylist or something.” I moaned and she smiled. “I’d love to.” She replied staring at the blank. “Since then, you’re my doll.” She continued in a serious tone which made me look up at her and laugh even more.

“What time is it? I don’t wanna be late!” I questioned while searching desperately for my phone. “Anyway, it was so sweet of him to give you a ticket for his concert.” She said softly and then grinned. “Yes, I told you I’m lucky.” I responded when I finally found my cell phone under the pile of clothes Margaret made, while trying to find something interesting in my closet. I needed to tidy up as soon as I got back from the concert. I looked at the time and realised that I had only twenty minutes to get there. Luckily my mum was keen to give me a ride.

“Do you want us to drive you home?” I asked Margaret but she shook her head. “It’s okay, I will walk.” She smiled and I shrugged. “Let’s get going!” I shouted happily and then headed downstairs.

“Are you ready girls?” My mum asked enthusiastically and then took the keys for the car from the table. I nodded and we headed outside. “Call me as soon as you get home! I wanna know everything!” My friend winked and I promised her I would. I climbed in the front seat of the car and turned on the radio.

“Turn this off please. I wanna talk to you.” My mum said in a serious tone, without taking her eyes from the road as she was driving. I sighed, quite nervous about our talk but did as I was told. “Tell me.” I said and then looked out of the window, totally avoiding eye contact with her. I knew what was coming. “Don’t you think Harry deserves to know about you? Caitlin, you’re eighteen, I think you’re old enough to understand some things. Please be responsible for once.” She said in a caring tone. I didn’t reply though, I just stared at her for a few seconds.

“What happened to “Move on with your life as if nothing’s wrong.”? Have you ever thought that he wouldn’t act the same if he knew?” I asked her, trying to make her understand why I was doing this. “Of course I have. That’s what I’m talking about. Talk to him before your relationship gets too serious.” She recommended. We were just a couple of blocks away from the theatre the boys were performing now. I really couldn’t wait to get there and end this conversation as soon as possible. “No mum. He will hate me. Hate me for doing this to him.” I spoke and stared at the other cars from the window, trying my very best not to cry. “Maybe not. Maybe your relationship will grow stronger after this.” She smiled encouragingly even though we both knew that something like this wouldn’t happen.

“Here you are. Don’t be late tonight.” She ended the awkward silence after a few minutes when the car came to a stop. I nodded and hoped off.

Soon enough I was surrounded by fans. I never really understood why they were interested in me. It’s not like I was doing something memorable, something worth the attention I was getting. I appreciated though the fact that they were nice to me and filled my Twitter mentions with lovely messages… well, most of the time. There were always people that were never pleased.

“Caitlin! Caitlin! Can I have a photo with you?” I girl asked me smiling. “Yes, no problem.” I smiled and she came and stood next to me. A friend of hers, took the photo and then gave the camera back to the girl. “How you and Harry met?” She asked and I broke into a grin even at the thought.

“Well… Last year, I went to their show in Manchester… and I fainted during the show.” The girl cringed and I laughed a little. “I know right? The boys continued performing but Harry came and helped me. When the show finished we went for a walk and before we left each other we exchanged numbers. After that we started hanging out.” I smiled and the girls let out an aww… “How cute is that?” She replied and I couldn’t help but smile too. She turned to her friend. “Seems like all I have to do now to date Niall is faint today.” She said and I laughed. “Well, I don’t think it works that way.” I pointed out and she sighed pretending to be disappointed.

“Let’s go inside now, the show starts in a couple of minutes.” I mumbled and we all headed in.

* * *

“Everyone else in the room can see it, everyone else but you-ou.” Harry sang, with his cute dimples showing. I tried to hide my huge smile by biting my lip but when we pointed at me it was just impossible. I could feel my cheeks turning red so I just looked down. My feet suddenly becoming very interesting.

As soon as they finished the song, they thanked the fans for the incredible show and went backstage. I made my way there too but a security guard stopped me at the door. “You can’t go in there.” He said and stood in front of me so I wouldn’t attempt to run or anything. “Don’t worry John, she’s with me.” I heard a manly voice behind me. Harry. He placed a kiss on my neck and then pulled me in. When we entered the room, we sat at the kind of living room the boys chilled out. They were already there, getting changed to leave. They had all left after a while except from Liam.

“Hello!” Liam smiled at me. “Hi…” I said. “Are you okay?” I laughed when he kept staring at me and he exchanged a terrified look with Harry. “Is anything going on here?” I asked confused. They were acting pretty weird and mysterious. “Not really. Alright, I’m going now.” He said to Harry and then left in a rush.

“There’s sure something wrong with him.” I said and Harry laughed. He came closer to me and placed a little kiss on my lips. He did that a few times and then pulled back. He grabbed me by my waist and I put my arms around his neck. “So… What are we doing tonight?” I smiled looking straight into his beautiful eyes. “Hm… Basically… I’ve something planned for us.” He responded happily. “Really? What?” I questioned enthusiastically. “You’ll have to wait to find out.” He winked. “It’s a surprise.” He said and then placed another little kiss on my lips.


	7. Part Seven.

“We found love in a hopeless place.” — We Found Love, Rihanna

“A surprise, huh?” I smiled as soon as we broke the kiss. He nodded, breaking into a grin.

“Until then… Let’s do something. Did you like tonight’s show?” He asked feeling quite nervous.

“Of course I did. You were amazing. As always. Oh, also thank you so much for dedicating What Makes You Beautiful to me.” I said meeting his eyes. He bit his lips trying to hide his huge smile. I giggled at his reaction and placed a little kiss on his lips.

“Thank you. And, you’re the only one that ever crosses my mind when I sing this song.” He replied softly. His words made me blush so I just looked down, biting my lip. “Oh, by the way, I saw you were talking to some fans before the concert. I hope they were polite.” He told, worried. Even though he knew I didn’t care about the haters, it always hurt him seeing bad things written about me.

“Yes, they were. They asked me how we met.” I answered, trying to change the topic about the hate and the fans. “Really? What did you tell them?” He questioned, feeling a twitch of anticipation. “I told them the truth.” I responded almost immediately, looking down. His face lit up. “I’ll never forget that day.” He declared and I couldn’t help but smile.

Before I could reply, Harry’s phone started ringing. He took it out of his pocket and checked the number. “Everything’s ready. Let’s get going.” He smiled and took my hand. “Where are we going?” I asked hoping for a better answer this time. “You’ll see.” He shrugged teasing me so I just mumbled a quick “Okay.”

One of their body guards met us when we reached the venue’s door. “There are still many fans outside; I suggest you leave from the back door.” He recommended and we did so. Luckily no one saw us as we made our way to his car and climbed up. He started the engine and drove off.

To my surprise he stopped out of his apartment. He tried reading my confused expression but he finally just laughed. “You’ll see.” He said cheekily and got out. He walked to the other side of the car and opened the door for me. “Thank you.” I mumbled and he took my hand. He kissed me and we walked up to his house.

“Now I’ll have to cover your eyes.” Harry said when we reached the door. He came behind me and put his hands on my eyes. I bit my lip as my heart started beating faster. I moved my hands in front of me so I wouldn’t bump into anything but Harry put them politely down. “Trust me.” He said in a very attractive voice. I nodded smiling.

He opened the door and from the route we took, I knew we were now in the dining room. “Are you ready, baby?” He asked and I could notice he was a bit nervous. “Yes!” I replied excited with a huge smile on my face. “Okay, here we go.” He took his hands off my eyes.

I looked around and my jaw dropped. The floor was covered with candles and petals and the dining table was ready for the two of us. “It’s beautiful. You did this for me?” I questioned shocked. This was so amazing. Harry was the sweetest boyfriend on the planet and I didn’t deserve someone like him. “Actually Liam did help me but yes.” He replied and span me around so now I was facing him. “Thank you so much.” I looked him deeply in the eyes before kissing him with passion.

* * *

“So what is the reason for all this?” I asked when we finished eating. He poured some more red wine in my glass. “I need to tell you something.” He hesitated.

“Well… I know I met you only last month but I feel like I’ve known you for ages. When I saw you for the first time, I don’t know… I felt something inside. I felt something click, like a key turning in a lock. I knew you were something special. And when we started dating, I was the happiest person on the earth. I’m – I’m so lucky to have you Caitlin. I don’t think you’ll ever understand how I feel about you. I never want to lose you, baby… I – I – I love you so much.” He took my hand in his from off the table and squeezed it a little.

I took a deep breath. “I love you too Harry.”

*

It had been an hour since we had finished our dinner and decided to watch a movie so now, we were both lying on the couch in the living room. All of sudden he turned the television off and hugged me tightly, kissing my forehead. I looked up at him, he looked so happy, as he stared in my eyes.

I put my arms around his neck and kissed him on the lips. He kissed me back and soon enough we ended up making out. He was lying down and I was standing on top of him kissing him. When his hands moved to my waist, he sent shivers down my spine. I broke the kiss to take a deep breath and then continued. I felt his tongue against my own and I couldn’t believe the way my body was responding to his touch. He stood up, never breaking the kiss, and took off his shirt; I bit my lip hard at the view of his bare chest and did the same for me. I leaned back so now he was standing on top of me. As my fingers started to drift toward the snap of his jeans, he breathed deeply. I smiled and started placing little kisses on his jawline and neck before he put my arms around his neck. I looked up at him confused, but when he stood up I realised what he was doing. I put my legs around his waist and he moved his hands to my waist so he could hold me up. He pressed his lips against mine as he made his way to his bedroom. He opened the door and gently put me on the bed. My breaths quickened as I stared at him. He was on top of me, his face just inches away from mine. Looking hungrily at my lips he said “Promise you’ll never leave me Caitlin.”

“I do.” I replied guilty, knowing this was a lie. I couldn’t keep this promise. He smiled and started kissing me again, leading me to the most wonderful night of my life.


	8. Part Eight.

“You are beautiful, like a dream come alive, incredible, a centrefold miracle, you saved my life again.” — Love You Like A Love Song, Selena Gomez & The Scene

[One month later, 24 February 2012]

“Just in time.” I mumbled when I heard the doorbell ring. I put the jacket I was holding in my suitcase and then headed downstairs to open to Margaret. “Hello!” She said smiling from ear to ear. I greeted her with a tight hug. “Thank you for coming.” I finally said meeting her eyes. “Anything for my best friend.” She responded and I hugged her again.

“Let’s go, we have so much work to do!” She said enthusiastically and grabbed my hand to lead me back to my bedroom.

Today I was going to the US to surprise Harry. He was touring with the other boys and Big Time Rush so I hadn’t seen him in a long time. Even though we video chatted via Skype often, it wasn’t the same. Plus it was a great chance to have some holidays.

“How many hours does the flight from London to Chicago last?” She asked as she walked to my closet to choose the clothes I should get with me in the US and what I should wear now. I was never interested in fashion so we always shopped together and met each other when we had to get ready for an event. She was the expert and I was just… me.

“Around eight hours.” I said terrified. I wasn’t really afraid of planes but being on one for eight hours and flying above the Atlantic Ocean wasn’t the best. But only the thought that Harry was there, and I was meeting him in less than twelve hours, made me smile and somehow calm down a little bit.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, everything will be alright. Take your laptop with you. Watch a couple of movies or play games or take a nap.” She suggested and I wondered how I hadn’t thought of that.

“Just don’t watch one in which a plane crashes.” She laughed and put some clothes on my bed for me to put in my suitcase. “That ain’t funny!” I protested and hit her playfully with a pair of jeans. “Come on Caitlin, relax! Don’t you know that planes are the safest way to travel?” She questioned and I just nodded. “The more I relax, the easier it will be.” I repeated a couple times in my head and then exhaled sharply.

“You done?” I asked her after almost half an hour pointing at my full suitcase. “Can you fit that in there?” She replied innocently, doing the puppy eyes and showing me a cute strapless dress. It was white with violet flowers on it and probably my favourite one. I rolled my eyes and took it in my hands.

“You’re the best.” She smiled. “I can’t imagine Harry’s face when he sees you.” We both laughed. “Oh, are you going to find him in his hotel? At the show?” To be honest I hadn’t thought of that. “I don’t know! I don’t have tickets for the show neither know in which hotel they are staying!” I admitted panicked.

“Why don’t you text one of the boys?” She suggested, handing me my phone. I texted Liam and after a few minutes I had a message from him with all the details about where they were staying and some about their schedule.

“Thank you so much Margaret for helping me today! You’re the best! What would I do without you?” I hugged her tightly once I was done talking to Liam until she mumbled “Hey… I need to breathe.” I stepped back and we both started laughing.

* * *

As soon as the plane took off, I made myself confortable in my seat and pulled out my laptop. I had downloaded several movies and didn’t really know which one to choose. I ended up watching Bridesmaids which was one of my favourite comedies at the moment. I put my headphones on so I wouldn’t bother the other passengers and clicked the ‘Play’ button. I skipped the first scene since I didn’t want the old woman who was sitting next to me to give me any weird looks and then relaxed. “Imagine you’re on a train.” I told myself and took a deep breath.

As soon as the movie finished I thought that maybe this wouldn’t be as bad as I thought it would be. I put my laptop back into my bag deciding to take a nap. I closed my eyes smiling. There was only one thought on my mind; in a few hours I'd be with Harry.

I yawned while opening my eyes and then grabbed my phone. I'd been sleeping for over three hours which made me realise that I only had three hours left. I smiled happily and then decided to watch another movie. I picked One Day. The first time I had seen it I was with Margaret. We were very excited to see it because everyone was telling us it was really good but by the time it was finished Margaret was crying her eyes out and shouting that she would never watch a romantic movie again. She was actually doing that every time we watched a film with an unexpected ending. I laughed at the memory and then clicked ‘Play’.

When the movie was about to finish my stomach made a weird sound and I realised that I hadn't eaten anything for over six hours. Luckily though, I had bought some crackers with me and other snacks that I could eat from the airport. I put my laptop aside one more time and pulled out some biscuits. I looked out of the window, smiling at the breath-taking view.

Throughout the rest of the flight I just put my earphones on and listened to music. Soon enough it was time for the plane to land and a huge smile couldn’t leave my face.

* * *

I opened the door of my hotel room and looked around. The room was quite big. The colour of the walls was beige but the one that was behind the huge double bed was dark brown. There were lots of beige and golden pillows on it as well. The room had a really huge window and through it you could see the city. On the one side of it was an armchair and on the other a desk. I dropped my bag and the floor and lay down on the comfortable bed. It was still sunny outside although my phone was saying 9:30pm. I then remember that Chicago was six hours behind London, which meant it was noon here.

I pulled myself up after a few minutes thinking it could be good to take a cold shower. When I finished I dried my hair and wore some skinny jeans and a simple t-shirt. As soon as I was about to relax on my bed again, I heard Harry’s and Liam’s voices from the corridor.


	9. Part Nine.

“I've tried playing it cool, but when I'm looking at you, I can never be brave ‘cause you make my heart race.” – One Thing, One Direction

 

A huge smile appeared on my face as soon as I heard his voice. I hadn’t seen him in a couple of weeks and now he was just a few meters away from me, just outside my hotel room. I put on my pair of Converse sneakers and headed to the door.

I opened it slowly and looked around. He was standing just two doors away, with his back turned to me and was chatting with Liam. I tiptoed to their direction and when Liam saw me I made a gesture so he wouldn’t say a word. I really wanted to laugh but I couldn’t as that would ruin everything so I just bit my bottom lip, trying to stop the urge. I was now right behind him thinking of what I should do.

I put my hands on his eyes to cover them so he wouldn’t see me. Liam laughed and then mumbled “Guess who, Harry.” There was a long pause in which I assumed Harry was thinking who it might be. “Uhm… Louis?” He asked confused. “No, it’s not Louis.” Liam giggled and then stared at Harry. “It’s not Zayn or Niall ‘cause we just saw them leaving for lunch. So… Uhm… Who’s left?” I really wanted to laugh as it was like he was talking to himself. He was just too adorable for words. “Oh… Maybe it’s Lou?” He questioned once again. “No, it’s not Lou.” Liam replied once again as I couldn’t speak. “Then… I don’t know… I have no idea…” He said softly and moved his hands to his eyes to take mine.

I slowly uncovered his eyes and waited for him to turn to see me. When he did so I just mumbled “Surprise!” and smiled. He looked so confused but then his face lit up. He smiled big with his cute dimples showing and then hugged me very tightly. “Cait! Oh, I missed you. I’m so happy you’re here.” He whispered in my ear, still hugging me, causing the butterflies in my stomach to flutter like crazy. “I missed you too.” I replied and then he pulled back to look into my eyes. He smiled once again and then placed a little kiss on my lips.

“Hey Liam! It’s nice to see you again!” I mumbled after a few seconds and greeted him as well. “So… Basically we were going out for lunch. Wanna come with us?” He replied and then looked at Harry, who didn’t seem happy with his idea. “What’s wrong?” I asked him confused. “Well, Liam if you and the boys don’t mind… I’d like to go for lunch with my girlfriend, alone.” He said simply, rubbing the back of his neck. A smile appeared on my lips and I couldn’t help but kiss him. “It’s okay, I guess. I’m sure that if my girlfriend was here, I’d like some time alone with her as well.” Liam shrugged, understanding. “Thanks!” Harry mumbled and then took my hand.

“Where are we going?” I questioned smiling when Liam left. “There is this very beautiful restaurant just around the corner that makes delicious food. I was thinking that we could go there, if that’s alright with you?” He replied, a bit nervous. “Yes, of course. Just let me change first.” I explained. “Sure. I’ll come knock on your door in an hour.” He said, kissed me on the cheek and then headed to his room.

I went to my room as well wondering what I should probably wear. I picked the white dress with the violet flowers and a pair of sandals. After curling my hair and applying on my make-up I was ready.

“Is everything alright?” I asked Harry when he showed up at my door. “I have to tell you something.” He replied when we got into the elevator, pushing the button for the first floor, I tried reading his expression but I couldn’t. Something inside me was telling me this wasn’t going to be good. “Is everything alright?” I said worried. “Uhm… Yes.” Harry replied and pulled me into a tight hug. “I love you.” He whispered in my ear. “Love you more.” I smiled, the bad thoughts never leaving my mind.

* * *

The restaurant was really beautiful, just Harry had said and they also played great music. When the waitress arrived with our food, I just stared at it not really in the mood to eat. “Are you alright? You seem a bit… sad?” He asked in a caring tone while he took one of my long brown curls in front of my eyes and put it in its place. I smiled, looking down. “No, I’m alright; just concerned about the thing you have to tell me.” I admitted, embarrassed. “Oh.” He simply replied like he had forgotten about it. “Yes… So?” I hesitated, completely avoiding his gaze. “Let’s eat first and then I’ll tell you. But seriously, you don’t have to worry about it.” He smiled, sounding nervous though. “Alright.” I mumbled quickly. He squeezed my hand and then grabbed his fork. 

“So…” He stared when both our plates were empty. “Yes…? Tell me baby.” I said with a warm smile on my face. He laughed nervously looking down. “Well… I was thinking… You know that I love you right?” He asked but before I could reply he cut me off. “And I know that we’re not dating for long time but… I haven’t feel like this in my life before. I know that I’m only eighteen, but still… You’re special to me Caitlin.” He smiled and then there was a long pause that seemed like ages. “I was thinking… Would you like if…?” Another long pause, that lasted several seconds, followed. I couldn’t help but bit the inside of my bottom lip nervously. “Would you like to move in with me? I know I’m touring and I won’t be around much but I love the idea of having our house.” It took only a moment for the words to register. “If you don’t want, it’s okay, I don’t wanna rush-” He continued but I cut him off his a passionate kiss. I could feel him smiling so I pulled back. “Is that a yes?” He said happily and I nodded before his lips fell on mine once more.


	10. Part Ten.

“Do you remember when we’re sitting there by the water? You put your arm around me for the first time. You made a rebel of a careless man careful daughter, you are the best thing that’s ever been mine.” – Mine, Taylor Swift

*3 March 2012 & Harry’s P.O.V*

“Good morning, beautiful.” I said to Caitlin as soon as she opened her eyes. She smiled turning to her right, facing me on the bed.

“I thought it was a dream.” She simply said. “I’m so happy you’re here Harry. I missed you.” I leaned in and kissed her.

“If I could, I would be with you more.” I admitted. If there was a way to continue with the band but be with Caitlin more than just a few days per month, I wouldn’t even second think of it.

“Come on. I’ve made breakfast.” I informed her after a few minutes of dead silent. I knew she was thinking that this was our first and last day together before I’d leave again. Sometimes I wish she was dating someone else, who could probably make her happier than I did. I shook the thought away.

“No matter what, I love you Harry.” She whispered as if she was reading my thoughts. “Even if I can’t see you 24/7, I want you to know that you make me happy.” I grinned and then kissed her nose. She closed her eyes and giggled before we both stood up to have breakfast.

* * *

I parked the car and quickly hopped off to the other side of it to open to Caitlin. She took my hand and then waited for me to lock. “Let’s go.” I said when I finished. She smiled, taking my hand in hers. I intertwined our fingers while making our way inside the store. Today we decided to go shopping and buy furniture for the house we bought together a few days ago. So, here we were now, outside IKEA.

I watched her as she laughed to herself. “What’s so funny?” I asked squeezing her hand. “Nothing… I’m just,” She stopped and a small pause followed. She bit her bottom lip struggling to find the right words to describe how she felt. “Happy.” She finally said. “This is just so unreal. I’m so lucky to have someone like you Harry.” She continued looking directly into my eyes. I smiled and then gave her a peck kiss. “I love you Cait.” I said pulling back.

“Let’s go now, we have some shopping to do for our house.” I told her and she just nodded smiling. We both walked inside and started looking around at the furniture.

“Let’s start from the bedroom?” She suggested and I agreed.

The house we had bought wasn’t really big. It had only the kitchen, living room, bathroom and two bedrooms. I had recommended we get a better one but she refused to; she didn’t want me to spend a lot of money on us or her. It actually surprised me when she also said that she’s paying fifty per cent.

This was the most lovely and interesting part of Caitlin. No matter how many months we were together, she still managed to surprise me every day. We were still getting to know each other at the end of the day.

We started searching for beds, wardrobes, nightstands, mirrors and all this bedroom-related furniture but even after half an hour we hadn’t found anything good enough.

“Oh, I love this one!” She pointed to a wooden double bed and then she moved and laid down on it, staring at the high ceiling of the store. “Come join me. I know you’re tired.” She mumbled, turning to her side and then patted the bed next to her.

I laughed and then approached her, moving the numerous pillows away so I could lay on the bed with her. When I finally did, I let out a sigh. “That’s comfortable.” I said, honestly, looking up at the ceiling too.

“Mmm…” She agreed and when I turned to face her, her eyes were closed. I continued looking at her beautiful features, trying to memorize every single detail of her face. This way, I could picture it perfectly on my mind, when I’d be away on tour again.

“It’s not nice to stare.” She spoke, her eyes still closed.

“You’re beautiful… it’s not my fault.” I replied, not taking my eyes off of her yet.

“And I’m yours.” She smiled and then finally looked at me.

“Yes, you’re mine.” I agreed and then kissed her. She giggled and we both stayed like this, just looking at each other, for several minutes.

“I really do like this bed. Actually, I like this whole bedroom.” She admitted and stood up. She was now sitting on the bed, looking all around at the furniture, probably imagining how it’d all look in our little cosy apartment.

“We’re buying it then.” I shrugged. She bit her bottom lip and then leaned down to kiss me.

We continued searching for furniture for our house all day long and around six o’clock in the evening, we were finally heading back to my car, both happy and satisfied with our choices.

“Do you want us to go have dinner out?” I asked once we had both climbed in my Range Rover.

“No, I’m a little tired. Sorry, Harry.” She responded, wearing her seat-belt.

“It’s alright. What about we return to my apartment, order Italian, or Chinese, whatever you want and rent a movie?” I suggested and she smiled.

“I’d love to.” She smiled and I did too.

“I – I just want to spend every minute with you when I’m back here, in London.” I declared and she just nodded, biting her lip. “Me too… and well, if you still want us to go out for dinner, I don’t mind.”

“Weren’t you tired a minute ago?” I asked, confused.

“We shouldn’t always do what I want.” She simply said, looking down.

“God, I love you so much!” I said kissing her and when we pulled back she was smiling from ear to ear. Basically, I had a goofy smile on my face as well.

“So?” She asked when the car started moving.

“No, no. We’re going home.” I answered, winking at her.

“Oh my God.” She laughed, blushing.


	11. Part Eleven.

“My friends say I'm a fool to think that you're the one for me, I guess I'm just a sucker for love.” – Love Me, Justin Bieber

[One month later, May 7-12 2012]

“Good morning, love.” I heard Harry mumble in his morning voice. I smiled, my eyes still closed. “Come on! Wake up!” He said again in a serious tone but I turned around, facing the wardrobe now instead of him. He placed a kiss on my cheek. “Cait… You don’t wanna miss the surprise, do you?” I turned around shocked. I hate when he was doing that, he knew I loved surprises! “What are you talking about?” I asked confused, hoping for a hint. “I can’t tell you! But wake up and start packing.” He laughed. Packing? Where were we going? I shrugged as it didn’t matter. As long as I was with Harry, I would be happy. I stood up off bed and went straight to the bathroom. I took a cold shower as I always did, since it helped me feel better in the morning and then wore a simple t-shirt and pair of jeans. If we were going to travel I wanted to be comfortable. I brushed my teeth, grabbed my hair in a ponytail and then headed to the kitchen. Harry was there preparing breakfast; I went from behind and hugged him. “I missed you.” I whispered and kissed him. He was on tour for a long time and as a result we were only seeing each other and talked via Skype. And even though he came back only two days ago, he couldn’t stay for longer than just a couple of weeks here with me, before going to Australia to continue on their tour. “Missed you too baby.” He smiled and then focused again on his cooking. “The pancakes will be ready in a few minutes, get your suitcase ready please? The plane leaves in three hours. We don’t wanna miss it.” I nodded without speaking and then headed back to our bedroom. Plane? How far were we going? I decided not to think about it for now and start packing; I didn’t want us to lose our flight. I took my suitcase from under the bed and thought of what I should take with me. Was it hot there or cold? “Harry! How’s the weather at there?” I shouted as he was in the kitchen. “Hot. Really hot.” He laughed; he was standing right behind me. He walked towards me and pulled me into a tender hug. I stepped back. “Come on, we don’t want to lose the plane.” I mimed his voice and he laughed. “Alright, alright. Hurry up and come for breakfast; I’ll be waiting in the kitchen. Oh, and by the way, there will be sea over there so yeah…” He winked and left the room. Hot and sea. I thought to myself. Definitely not in the UK. I smiled happily and started throwing all my shorts and t-shirts in the open suitcase that was lying on the bed.

* * *

“Athens?” I asked shocked as soon as the plane landed. “No. We’re not staying here.” Harry simply mumbled. “We’re taking another plane and then we will arrive to our final destination.” He replied, as he got up from his seat and stretched his hand for me to take it. “I just thought you’d like Greece. It’s beautiful here during summer.” He kissed me and I rolled my eyes.

* * *

“This is the house. If you need something, anything, you can call me. The phone is over there and my number is on a paper under it.” The lady, who owned the house we were staying, explained after giving us a tour so we could see all the rooms. She had a strange accent that made it hard for me to get all the words she said. “Thank you. If we need your help we will call.” Harry smiled and walked her to the door. I lay on the bed, exhausted from the flight. “How did you call this island?” I asked Harry who had now joined me. “Mykonos. But I’m not sure if I pronounce it right.” He laughed. “Come on. We’re not staying inside tonight.” He pulled my hand causing me to sit up on bed. “What? It’s 10PM and I’m so tired. Please!” I did the puppy eyes but he didn’t give in. “It’s worth it. Come on. And take your bikini with you.” He said before leaving the room for me to get ready.

* * *

“Wow.” I mumbled amazed when the car we had rented came to a full stop. Harry had brought me to one of the island's beaches. The sky was very dark and the full moon looked so beautiful in it. “Oh my God Harry!” I said again looking at the breath-taking view. He hopped off the car and walked to open the door for me. “Thank you.” I said smiling. He kissed me on the lips and then took my hand. “Basically… As you see, we’re completely alone since it’s a bit late.” I shrugged and dropped the bag I was carrying on the sand. “Ready?” Harry winked and I just smiled. He took off his t-shirt staying with his swimsuit and then ran to the sea. He jumped in the water and it took a few seconds before he appeared on the surface again. “Come on Cait!” He shouted and I took off my clothes staying with my black bikini. I walked to his direction but as soon as my feet touched the water, I stepped back. It was freezing! “What’s the problem? Come on!” Harry shouted, swimming to my direction. “I’m coming.” I said quietly getting slowly into the water again. He laughed and then stretched his hand for me to take it. As soon as I took it he pushed me in the water. It took me a few seconds to get my head out of it so I could breath. “I hate you!” I mumbled but he just laughed. “I’m sorry!” He said laughing, not really meaning it and pulling me into a hug. I kissed him and soon we ended up making out underwater.

* * *

“What time is it?” Harry asked as we were lying on the sand after our late night bath at the sea. I took my phone in my hands and unlocked it. “It’s ten minutes past midnight. Why are you asking?” I asked and turned on my side so I could face him. He smiled cheekily. “Happy birthday Caitlin.” He simply said and then pressed his lips into mine. I was shocked! I had completely forgotten about it! “Thank you so much Harry! Did you plan the whole trip just for my birthday?” I asked confused, trying my best to understand. “Yes… You’re my girl and you deserve the world.” I looked away my cheeks turning into a red colour. “Thank you!” I mumbled; I was so lucky to have someone like Harry! I gave him a peck kiss on the lips. “I love you.” I said when we broke the kiss.

* * *

“I can’t believe we’re already leaving!” I said sadly while putting the last things in my bag. “We’ve been here for five days, Cait. We can’t stay forever!” Harry explained helping me with my stuff. “I know… I was just hoping. We had an amazing time; I think we needed that, didn’t we?” He nodded in agreement as we both walked to the door.

* * *

When we finally took back our bags we started walking to the exit of the airport. I closed my eyes trying to feel better. I was in a horrible statement; I knew that I would collapse on the floor in any minute. But I didn’t want Harry to see me like that; I didn’t want him to know. “I’m sure there will be fans and paparazzi outside. Hold my hand and everything will be alright.” Harry smiled but his face got a worried expression as soon as he looked at me. “Are you alright?” He asked, slightly squeezing my hand. “Yeah… It must have been the flight. I’m afraid of airplanes, you know.” I tried to explain, but before I could turn to meet his eyes, everything around me went black.

* * *

I slowly opened my eyes. Where was I? I looked around me confused. From all the furniture and the bed I was lying on I realised I was at some hospital. I exhaled sharply; this was so complicated and messed up. “Oh, Cait! You’re finally awake!” Louis said relieved. He was sitting on an armchair that was a few feet away from my bed. I nodded, feeling too weak to speak. “Harry went crazy last night after you arrived back to the UK! He was so scared!” He continued as he opened the window. The sun was sinning on the sky so I guessed it was morning. “Is he here?” I asked. “No. He just left actually. He was waiting all night for you to wake up. He slept here, next to you. But we have to go to a show in a couple of hours so I came instead. He needed some rest. I promised I will take you home safe though.”

He smiled before coming and sitting next to me. “Oh wait. I have to inform the doctor. He said you can leave once you wake up but I think you have to do some tests as well.” He remembered and walked out of the room in a rush. I closed my eyes, feeling absolutely awful. I couldn’t do this to Harry anymore.

“Cait! Are you okay?” My mum asked once she got in the room almost running. “Mum? What are you doing here?” I asked confused, how did she know? “Well, you fainted at the airport while coming back with one of the members of the biggest group worldwide. It’s everywhere, on Twitter, TV.” I closed my eyes and opened them again. I was still at the hospital; unluckily this wasn’t just a nightmare. “Don’t you think that’s enough? Do you understand what you’re putting Harry into?” She asked annoyed. I didn’t bother to answer. “You know what? This has gotten out of control. If you don’t tell the boys about it, I will.” She warned me before turning her gaze away.

“Tell us what?” Louis questioned suspiciously as he entered the room with the doctor.


	12. Part Twelve.

“I’d like to take this time, just to apologise, the way you see me know, ain’t who I am inside.” – Masquerade, Jasmine V

[3 weeks later, 19 - 20 May 2012 & Louis P.O.V]

“I think it was sweet of you inviting Harry to live here for a while. I really believe it will help him get over Caitlin.” My sister Lottie smiled and then turned back to the TV to continue watching the movie. “Where is he now anyway?” She asked confused once I was about to thank her. “I don’t know.” I shrugged and then grabbed some snacks off the bowl that was on the coffee table. “Oh… okay.” She simply mumbled and then focused on the movie again. I hugged her tightly and then kissed her forehead. “I missed you.” I smiled happily. She opened her mouth to speak but didn’t as the front door got opened with force, and Harry came in. Drunk. As he always did after I made Caitlin leave him. He thought that Cait had cheated on him and then after I caught her with him, decided to just leave, ashamed and without saying goodbye, which now actually seemed as a lame excuse. I got up and walked to his direction to help him. He could barely walk and when I got near enough I could smell the whiskey as he breathed heavily. “Come on Harry. You need some sleep.” I said and tried to help him but he pushed me away. “Leave me. Like she did… After – after giving her all my l – love. Everything.” He mumbled and then headed to his room. I turned back to my sister and she took a deep breath. “I hate seeing him like this.” She declared when I sat next to her. “Me too.” I said my voice came out in a whisper. “I don’t know what went wrong. They seemed so happy. I thought Caitlin was very sweet and loved him but obviously I was wrong.” I didn’t speak as all this was my fault. I just nodded and then looked away, for the first time feeling guilty about what I did to Harry and Caitlin.

[Next morning…]

“I have a terrible headache man!” Harry complained as he sat on the table. “It’s called a hangover.” I said and put a plate with waffles in front of him. I finished cooking mine too and then sat next to him. “Eat something.” I mumbled once I saw him just playing with the fork. “I’m not hungry.” Harry replied not even looking me in the eyes. “Do you realise that since Caitlin left, you’ve lost so much weight and always come drunk at nights? Come on Harry! It’s been three weeks! How long is this going to last?” I questioned, annoyed. “UNTIL I FIND WHAT WENT WRONG BETWEEN ME AND HER!” He shouted and then headed back to his bedroom, leaving me alone in the kitchen.

Things had gotten out of control. I couldn’t handle this anymore. I pulled out my phone from my pocket and with quick moves called Liam. “Yeah?” A morning voice mumbled. “Liam? Did I wake you up?” I asked confused. “Yes. But it’s alright, don’t worry. Is everything alright?” He replied and I sighed. “Yes… Basically no. Can we just meet somewhere and talk?” “Em… Sure. What about the coffee shop near my house in an hour?” Liam suggested and I agreed.

“Who were you talking to?” Harry asked; he was standing a few feet away from me. “No-one. I have to go.” I quickly replied and then stormed out of the house. He was suspicious. “Oh my God, Louis, what have you done?” A little voice in my head asked but I decided to ignore it.

* * *

I was patting impatiently my foot on the floor while waiting for Liam. He was ten minutes late. I looked at my watch one more time and then decided to calm down a little bit. “Good morning!” Liam greeted me happily but as soon as he saw my expression, his smile disappeared. “What’s wrong? You sounded weird on the phone.” He admitted after he sat on the table. “Yes. Well… I don’t know how to say that.” I said my hands starting to sweat. “Oh, you seem very nervous Louis! What’s wrong? I’m getting worried!” Liam replied and then leaned forward to me to listen better. “Well… It has to do with Caitlin.” I hesitated and then tried to read his expression. “I know; you’re disappointed as well. I never thought she’d do this to Harry! I mean, they looked so happy together! What happened to-” Liam started talking quickly but I raised my hand to stop him. “No. You don’t understand.” I said and then took a deep breath, ready to explain to Liam what had happened with Caitlin while we were at the hospital. “I’m the reason Caitlin left.” Liam opened his mouth to speak but it seemed like he had run out of words. “No, let me explain. You will have plenty of time once I’m finished.” I told him and then started narrowing the story.

* * *

“What the hell Louis?” Liam shouted angrily as soon as I was done. “Do you understand what you did? Harry’s been a mess and I so believe has been Caitlin!”

“I know… I never thought something like this would happen! It seemed like the best idea at that time!” I tried apologising but I knew it wouldn’t work. “Stop! Just try reaching Caitlin! We have to make her come back!” He said and pulled out his phone.

“She doesn’t pick it up!” He said after a few seconds. I tried too. “She doesn’tanswer my calls either.” I said. “Come on! Follow me!” Liam said and ran out of the coffee shop. “Where are we going?” I asked confused. “To your house. You’re telling Harry.” He said and suddenly I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

* * *

“Harry!” Liam called his name when I unlocked the front door of the house. I gave him a “Sorry” look but he just turned away. “What’s wrong?” Harry asked when he saw us. “Take a sit. Louis needs to tell you something.” Liam explained and I took a deep breath. He sat on the armchair and me and Liam sat on the couch opposite to him. “Go on.” Harry said; he seemed like he was ready to get yelled at for his attitude the last few weeks. “It’s about Caitlin.” I started and then waited for his reaction. He exhaled sharply. “I can’t forget her, why don’t you get that?” He admitted angrily. “No. You need to know something about her.” I continued and a long pause followed. “She didn’t cheat on you Harry. I lied.”


	13. Part Thirteen.

“Damn, damn, damn, what I'd do to have you near, near, near… I wish you were here.” – Wish You Were Here, Avril Lavigne

[Louis P.O.V]

Harry sat there, with a blank expression on his face. His eyes were on me but he wasn’t looking at me, he was just lost in his thoughts. I took a deep breath and then coughed to get his attention. “What… What do you mean you lied?” He asked confused, biting his bottom lip, nervously. His face had lit up at the mention of his girlfriend’s name. “Well… Remember that day when she fainted at the airport and you took her to hospital?” I questioned and he simply nodded, waiting patiently for more information. “Good. The next morning… When you left and I went there to take care of her and then drive her home I bumped into her mother.” I paused for a minute, trying to find a way to tell him all the truth. “She was acting a bit weird and so did Cait. Then, when we were left alone, she told me that she was sick.” I said my voice came out in a whisper. I saw Liam looking down sadly. “I know that. She fainted, it’s pretty obvious. Maybe she had caught a flu or something while we were in Greece.” He shrugged, not understanding what I was talking about. “No… Not like that Harry. She didn’t have a flu or a cold. She’s dying. She has cancer.” Harry’s eyes widened and then he stood there for a couple of minutes, saying nothing at all. I looked at Liam, as if I was asking for help but he just nodded, feeling proud that I finally told Harry. He also looked a bit nervous as we waited for Harry’s reaction. 

Before I could turn back to him, I felt him grabbing my shirt and pulling me away from the couch I was sitting. As I was about to ask him what was going on, he pounced me in the face. “You told me she was cheating on me when the truth is that she’s dying? You took her away from me at the hardest time of her life? I could be there, with her, holding her hand, promising that everything would be alright… What the hell Louis? Why did you do this to me? Why did you do this to her? You didn’t think of her at all? Can you imagine how she’s probably feeling right now?” He shouted and kicked me before Liam came and pulled him away from me. “I’m sorry, Harry… I thought that if I didn’t take her away from you this way she’d break your heart… I believed it would be easier for you to forget her if she did something bad to you!” I tried apologising but it didn’t matter to him. Not anymore. “Really? Do you think I’m happy now? Do you believe that my heart isn’t broken because of your stupid lies?” He shouted again at me and Liam pushed him back, away from me once more to calm him down. He took a deep breath to relax and then covered his face with his hands. “Just tell me where she is now and I will pretend that none of this ever happened.” Liam and I exchanged a sad look. “I don’t know where she is Harry. I didn’t ask her where she was planning on going.” I replied and his face turned serious and angry again. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and tried calling her. “She doesn’t pick it up.” He mumbled quietly. “If anythinghas happened to her, I swear I will never talk to you again! If I don’t find her, forget about the band! I will leave One Direction!” He shouted one last time and then stormed out of the house. “Harry! Wait!” Liam called his name and then we both ran behind him. “Wait. Where are you going?” I said when we reached him. “To her house. I guess she went back to her mother’s.” He explained and then climbed on his car. “We’re coming with you.” Liam informed him. He gave us a what-the-hell look but finally let us get in. Her mother’s house wasn’t too far from here, just a fifteen minutes drive. “If we arrive too late, I swear, Louis, I’ll never forgive you.” Harry simply said. I didn’t reply; I just looked out of the window. I should have thought of the consequences before telling Caitlin to leave. The poor girl didn’t even protest as soon as I said that she would hurt Harry. Damn, she really loved him. “Yeah, but you ruined everything.” I heard the little voice in my head. I buried my head in my hands and tried not to cry. If Caitlin is already… gone, Harry and the boys will never forgive me and One Direction will be over. “I’m so sorry Harry. If I could, I would turn back time and never do that. I wouldn’t make her leav-” I tried apologising one more time but he cut me. “Don’t.” He mumbled, trying to hold back his tears. “Are you sure you can drive? I can, if you want me.” Liam suggested and I nodded in agreement. He shook his head and focused again on the road.

“We’re here.” He said when the car came to a stop. “Stay in the car.” He continued and hopped off. I watched him through the window, walking to the front door and knocking on it. Her mother appeared on the porch and they talked for a while before Harry returned back to us.

“What happened?” Liam asked worried. “She isn’t here.” He explained and then drove off but to another direction, not the one to our house. “Where are we going?” I asked confused. “To her best friend’s house. They were very close, maybe she’s there.” He replied and picked up speed. “Calm down Harry. The last thing we want now is to have an accident.” Liam mumbled in a worried tone, while wearing the seat belt. I did the same, but Harry continued like he hadn’t heard us. When we arrived there, he did the same. Jumped off the car and knocked nervously on the door. Margaret came out and the talked for a few minutes as well. He returned sadly to the car.

“She’s not here either. I can’t believe it.” He said and buried his head in his hands crying. “But I’m going to find her. I need to.” He said lifting up his head and starting the car again before Margaret came running out. She tapped on his window. He opened it and looked at her. “I know where she may be.” She spoke quietly. “Where?” Harry said nervously. “In Manchester.” She replied and then bit her lip.


	14. Part Fourteen.

“Say you love me more than you did before and I'm sorry it's this way. But I'm coming home, I'll be coming home and if you ask me I will stay, I will stay…” – Stay, Miley Cyrus

[Harry’s P.O.V]

“She’s in Manchester? What is she doing there? I mean where is she staying?” I asked confused. I was a bit happy though, I had a chance, maybe she was there, and maybe she wasn’t gone. Margaret looked at me. “Well, her dad lives there and since she’s not at her mother’s house...” Her voice trailed off. “What do you mean her dad? I thought John was her dad, the one that lives with her mother?” This didn’t make sense at all. Why did Caitlin never tell me? “Her parents have split up, and now her mother is married to her second husband.” She explained quietly. I opened my mouth to speak but she cut me. “Maybe she didn’t tell you in case something like this happened and she had to run away.” She said, replying to the question I was planning on doing. I looked down for a moment and then turned back to her. “Did you know about it?” I asked; my voice came out in a whisper. “No.” She simply mumbled and then forced out a weak laugh. “She kept it a secret from everyone.” She shrugged. Taking out a paper from her pocket, she added: “This is the address. Hurry up Harry.” She finally said, walking away from the car. I nodded and started the car again, driving to Louis’ house. I had to drop the boys first. “Where are we going?” Liam asked when he noticed the route I had taken. “To Louis’s place.” I said coldly, not taking my eyes from the road. “What? Why? We need to come with you.” He protested. “No. She’s my girlfriend. I’m going alone.” I explained. “But we want to help you Harry.” Louis spoke this time and I laughed. “No, no. Louis you helped enough already.” I replied my voice colder than I had expected. After that the boys didn’t speak again throughout the lift.

When we arrived at the apartment I rushed upstairs to pack my bags. If she wasn’t willing to come back in London I was staying with her, until the end. I threw a few pieces of clothing in the bag and then looked around. Hurry up Harry, I thought to myself. “Are you sure you don’t want us to come? I know you’re mad at Lou-” Liam said, he was standing at the door but I cut him. “No. Please.” I answered and then threw the last things I wanted in the bag. He put his hands up like he was saying that he’s giving up. “At least be careful. Stay safe Harry.” He continued; his voice in a worried tone. “I will.” I smiled and the pulled him in a hug. “I’ll see you soon.” He finally mumbled and with that I stormed out of the house.

I decided to drive to Manchester since the last thing I wanted was paparazzi and fans at the airport. I had to hurry. I left my bag at the passenger’s seat and then climbed in the driver’s. Unluckily, while I was in the city, I couldn’t pick up speed. I impatiently waited until I was out of London. There weren’t many cars in the streets so I passed a few red lights. I didn’t care to be honest; all I cared about at the moment was Caitlin, and she was dying. A few tears fell from my eyes but I wiped them away quickly. I missed her, I missed her so bad. All this time I was away from her she was the only thing that ever crossed my mind. And when Louis told me she cheated on me my heart broke into a million little pieces. I couldn’t believe it, but I had to. She wasn’t there to prove different. But if she came back, I would forgive her. I was in love and that made me blind somehow. But she didn’t cheat. I smiled at the thought; deep inside me I knew it. I knew Cait would never do such a thing. She loved me and I could say that just by the way she would look up to me every time she woke up next to me, every time I kissed her, every time we made love. To me she wasn’t just another girl. She was special. I had never in my life felt like this. She was the one I would like to have kids with. The one I would like to see walking down the aisle. I believed though, that marriage was pointless; I mean what’s the difference? If you love someone, a paper saying you’re married won’t make any difference. But with Cait, it was just another story. I wanted everyone to know she was mine. She was mine, forever. I would like to marry her. And if I found her I would propose to her. I would be by her side until she was gone. I would spend every second next to her, reminding her that to me she never did anything wrong. It’s not like she woke up one day and choose to have cancer. I didn’t blame her for not telling me. She was scared and I understood that.

After a couple of hours I finally arrived at her father’s house. I hopped off the car and ran to the porch. I slightly knocked on the door and waited for someone to show up but no-one did. I knocked again and again but got no answer. “Caitlin! Caitlin!” I shouted knocking on the door with all my strength. Come on! This was my last hope! It couldn’t be happening! I sat down on the stairs that lead to the porch and buried my head in my hands, crying. Where were you Cait?

“Are you looking for Mr Stevens and his daughter?” An old lady asked; she had come out of the house on the left. I stood up and walked to her direction. “Yes. Do you know where I can find them?” I questioned nervously. “Yes. They are at the hospital. A couple of days ago, an ambulance came in the middle of the night and took the girl. She’s still there but I think she’s better now.” She explained. I didn’t like the people who gossiped but I had to admit that this lady had saved me. “Do you know at which hospital she is?” I asked once again and she explained to me at which one Caitlin was staying and also gave me some direction on how to get there. I thanked her and then climbed in the car. I picked up speed again; I had to get there soon. “I’m coming Cait.” I mumbled and passed yet another red light.


	15. Chapter 15

“Heart beats harder, time escapes me, trembling hands touch skin, it makes this harder… And the tears stream down my face. If we could only have this life for one more day, if we could only turn back time… You know I’ll be your life, your voice, your reason to be my love, my heart is breathing for this moment, in time I’ll find the words to say… Before you leave me today” – One Direction, Moments

[8 years later, 4 June 2020]

“Oh! You are so beautiful!” My mother said with excitement as she entered the room. I smiled at her, tears starting to fill my eyes. “Don’t cry baby! You don’t want to ruin your make-up!” She mumbled and then wiped the tears off my cheeks with her thumb. “You’re supposed to be happy today! Aren’t you happy Cait?” She asked tenderly. “I am happy mum.” I managed to say through the sobs. “Then are those happy tears?” She questioned, trying to understand me. I shrugged. “I don’t know.” was all I managed to say. “I’m sure he’s happy for you.” She finally said after a few minutes, a sweet smile appearing on her face. She then kissed my forehead and walked out of the room, leaving me alone.

I sighed and then looked at my figure in the mirror; my blonde now hair was up in a beautiful bun, my make-up was amazing, a bit ruined… but amazing and my wedding dress was… no words could describe it! I stood up and then walked a bit around the room. I couldn’t believe I was getting married in less than an hour. The last eight years passed so fast! I was twenty-six now, ready to live my life. Ready to marry and live my life with my husband, I corrected myself. I checked the clock on the wall one more time and then hurried to fix my make-up. As soon as I finished there was a knock on the door. “Come in!” I said, calmer now. It was Liam. “Are you ready? We need to go.” I nodded and then stood up. “Wow Cait! You’re gorgeous!” I gigged and then mumbled a quick “Thank you.”

* * *

The usual music was playing as I walked down the aisle with my father to get me to my soon-to-be husband. I looked happily at my favourite singer as he waited with a huge smile on his face. Liam was already next to him as he was our best man and his wife to his right. As I was getting closer, I looked around. My family, Margaret and her husband David, Zayn, Niall and his current girlfriend Holly, they were all there. I smiled at them before finding Harry sitting a little further. He was wearing a suit, that looked good on him, and he was smiling encouragingly at me. I turned to Louis with horror as he waited for me to take my last steps. Louis read my expression and quickly took my hand. “Shhh, it’s alright.” He whispered to me and then we both turned to the priest.

*8 years earlier, 23 May 2012*

I exhaled as I slowly opened my eyes. I was at the hospital… again. I tried sitting up but my whole body hurt. I decided to wait until a doctor or my father came. After a few minutes my father walked in, looking really worried, as always. “Cait! You’re finally awake!” He said thrilled and then hugged me tightly. “Oh! I need to bring the doctor! He has something really important to tell you.” He remembered and then took a step back. “What’s so important?” I asked confused. “They want to run some tests to see if the new therapy is working.” He shrugged and I nodded even more confused than before. Not much time passed until he was back with the doctor. He showed me some papers and explained to me that the new treatment I was trying, had results.

“The only negative thing is that, this will harm the baby.” He sadly added a few minutes after. My jaw dropped. “What baby?” I asked shocked. He bit his lip. “You’re three weeks pregnant.” My hands instantly moved to my tummy and I looked down. I was pregnant? No. No, this couldn’t be happening! And three weeks? Where was I three weeks ago? In Greece. Damn it. “And there’s nothing I can do to save the baby?” I questioned, there was no way I was killing me and Harry’s child. “No. I’m sorry.” He said not trying to hide his disappointment. “What if I stop this new therapy?” I suggested, crying. “If you do, you will start getting worse and worse. There’s no way you’re making it to nine months without continuing this therapy. And sadly the medicine is really strong and it will cause you to have a miscarriage very soon.” He explained and I couldn’t help but let more tears fall from my eyes. “I’m sorry.” He mumbled and then walked out. If you make it Caitlin, if you survive, you will have Harry back. A voice in my head said and it was right.

* * *

“Do you want to walk a little bit? You need to get out of this room.” My dad recommended. It was afternoon now and I had just woken up after crying for many hours. My eyes were red and puffy. “No, not really. I’m not in the mood.” I shrugged and he took a deep breath. “Come on. We will just walk around the floor. Basically I will walk, you will sit.” He said giving me a weak smile. “Alright…” I finally said and then he helped me stood up and sit on the wheelchair. I hated being so weak. I hated not being able to walk without feeling that it would be the last thing I’d do.

* * *

“See it’s not that bad.” My dad mumbled and I nodded in agreement while we were wondering the hospital corridors. “Oh, and you’re changing room tomorrow.” He informed me happily. “Yay!” I cheered sarcastically and he laughed.

Suddenly I heard voices coming from outside the hall we were now and soon enough a few doctors rushed into the room dragging with them a stretcher with a boy on it. His body and face were all covered in blood. I looked at him carefully. I knew it was too late for him and they wouldn’t be able to save him. I studied his facial features before realizing who that boy was. It was Harry.

*8 years later, 4 June 2012*

The ceremony had begun and I refused to take my eyes off the priest. I was afraid I would see the eighteen-years-old Harry again, sitting there looking at us, happy. But I had to finally realise that he was gone. He had died… in front of me. That day. But it wasn’t this simple. I couldn’t forget him so easy. Harry was my first, pure love and no matter what I’d always loved him. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t in love with Louis. No… I was. I loved him, not the way I loved Harry but I did. He was there for me all those years.

He became my friend; we went through Harry’s sudden death together. I was there when he split up with the band; they weren’t willing to continue without Harry. I was there when he started his solo career, when he broke up with his girlfriend after two years. And he was there for me too. When they told me that I was going to survive. When I started dating another boy the next year and he ended up being a jerk who cheated on me. Of course thought, it had taken us five years to realise we had feeling for each other. But we had realised that we must move on and that was enough. I took a deep breath and looked behind me, searching for Harry. He wasn’t there anymore.

* * *

I looked at the clock. It was 4AM and I hadn’t slept yet after an exhausting day. I looked at Louis who was lying next to me, sleeping like an angel. I watched him for a while, watched his chest rise and fall as he breathed. I stood up, took my bag and then walked to the balcony. I closed the glass door behind me since I didn’t want to wake him up. I lit up a cigarette and looked at the beautiful view of London. I wasn’t smoking, no. I would only light up a cigarette once on a while. But right now, I really needed one. When I finished I looked up at the sky. “I miss you Harry.” I cried. “I miss you so bad… Why did you have to leave me?” I asked. Sometimes, when I couldn’t sleep I would sneak out and speak to him, while looking up to the night sky. “Why did you have to come and find me that day? Why did you have to pass the road when the light was red? You could be here you know, with me, if you didn’t have that car accident.” I wiped the tears off my cheeks. “But I know that you’re better in heaven now. With our little angel, Olivia.” My hands moved to my stomach and I smiled while remembering my child. I didn’t know if it was a girl or a boy, I never got to know as I was only a month pregnant when I had a miscarriage. But I had a feeling it was a cute little girl with beautiful hazel eyes and long brown curls. When she smiled, dimples would appear… Harry had told me that if we ever had a girl we’d name her Olivia and I had agreed. “With my guardian angel. I hope you take good care of her and you two take care of me from up there.” I gasped. “I love you...” I stopped and whipped the tears off my face. “I will always remember you Harry and I will always love you.” I took a deep breath and then walked back into the room. I climbed up in bed and cuddled Louis. He was my husband now.

THE END.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you liked my fan-fiction and the ending. I'd love to hear what you think so make sure to tweet me @1DPaintASmile :) 
> 
> ! An alternative ending is now available.


	16. Alternative Ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an alternative ending I've written. It is the original one I thought when I came up with the idea of this fan-fiction but then decided to write a different one not as predicatable. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this. In case you're wondering, you read this instead of part fifteen x

“I have to go and leave you alone but always know, always know, always know that I love you so.” — Goodbye, Avril Lavigne

*23 May 2028 & Harry’s P.O.V*

“Harry! Can you please hurry up? The twins are going to be late for school.” Elena shouted from the kitchen and I rushed towards the exit of my bedroom while butting up my simple blue shirt.

“I’m ready!” I smiled cheerfully when I entered the kitchen. Elena was staring at her phone and had a huge smile on her face. “What’s going on?” I questioned and then took a sip of the coffee that was waiting for me on the table.

Elena had been my wife for eight years now and we were still in love and very happy. She was just a couple of years younger than me but looked even younger since she was only five point three. She had long blonde hair and hazel eyes, just like me.

Ι had met her in a book signing, me, my sister Gemma, and her -then- young son, Justin, had gone, ten years ago. She was the writer of his favourite book and when he learned that she was going to be in town, he begged Gemma to take him. I had accompanied them that day ‘cause I just didn’t have better plans but it ended up being life-changing since I met Elena. We were dating for two years when I decided to propose to her. She instantly said “yes” and made that day the best of my life; that of course until the day she announced she was pregnant to the twins.

“I was on the phone with Kevin. My book debuted at #8 on the New York Times Young Adult list.” She announced and I immediately rushed to give her a hug.

“That’s amazing! I’m so proud of you.” I admitted and then kissed her on the lips. “You’re an incredible writer and you deserve it.”

“Thank you. Now go, the kids are waiting outside.” She said warmly before kissing me again one last time.

I grabbed my phone and my car keys from the table in the living room and then headed outside. George, my six-years-old son was chasing Melanie, our brown old cat, all around the yard and Natalie was laying on the ground looking at the clouds.

“George! Natalie! Come on!” I shouted while getting in the car. Natalie rushed into the car, followed by her older, for a few minutes, brother.

Natalie. She was just like her mother. With long blonde hair, that was now styled with a few butterfly hair-clips and beautiful hazel eyes. George on the other hand, had brown curly hair and brown, unlike me and Elena, eyes. Something he had taken from his grandpa, Elena’s father, Will.

I drove the kids to school and then headed to Liam’s house where the rest of One Direction were.

We hadn’t split all those years to the media’s surprise. Instead, we kept getting better and better and gaining more and more fans every day. That of course until we were a bit old to be the young boyband that could tour all around the world and dance on stage. So, after seven years, we decided to take a break and finally settle down. We were still meeting each other once in while though, not only to arrange stuff with our manager about the money from all our albums and merchandise we were still earning but also to catch up. We were still like brothers.

Liam was now married and his wife was pregnant to their first child. Same with Zayn, only this was going to be his second daughter. On the other side, Louis had just signed a divorce with his three years wife, who ended up cheating on him. As about Niall, he had gotten engaged only a few months ago and was happier than I had ever seen him.

I had fun with the boys but left earlier than I had planned. I had to go see her. Excusing myself, I said my goodbyes to my bandmates and then drove to Manchester.

After a few hours and after a stop at a flower shop from which I bought a bucket of white roses, I had finally arrived at my destination. I sighed before getting out of the car and then pulled my phone out of my pocket and turned it off so no-one would bother me.

Walking through the graves at the cemetery was heartbreaking but the first tears fell from my eyes when I reached Caitlin’s grave. I put the bucket on the ground and then took a deep breath.

Caitlin. The first, true love of my life. The girl who Louis took away from me because he thought that she was going to break my heart when she would confess about how she was battling with cancer.

I still remembered the day I drove all the way here, to Manchester after her best friend Margaret told me that she may be at her father’s house. I remembered how I banged on their door but no-one answered it… and I remembered how I hurried to the hospital only to be too late.

I wiped the tears from my cheeks with the back of my hand and then kneeled down.

“I love you. I still love you.” I managed to say through my sobs.

“Harry?” I heard a voice behind me and then turned around to find Claire, Caitlin’s older sister.

“Claire.” I greeted her with hug. “I haven’t seen you in such a long time. More than ten years, right?” I questioned and she nodded.

“I hoped you’d be here today. I need to give you something.” She admitted and then reached for something inside her bag.

“I can’t believe that today is the anniversary of her death. I can’t believe it’s been sixteen years since that day.” Claire simply nodded and then handed me an envelope.

“It’s for you… from her.” She explained and I looked at her confused. “We were cleaning her room in my father’s house and found a few letters. There were a few for her friends and there was also one for you.” She added and I stared down at the white envelope.

I turned it around and saw “For Harry x” written on it. It really was from her. My heart started beating faster before more tears started falling from my eyes. I looked at Claire who was now fighting back her own tears.

“I’ll leave you alone now.” She mumbled and I hugged her goodbye.

When Claire was no longer to be seen, I opened the envelope with slow moves. Inside there was a letter, written on a page torn from a notebook. I took a deep breath, before starting reading it.

Dear Harry,

If you’re reading this, it means that I’ve passed away. It may have been days or weeks; it depends on how long my family did to find the letters I’ve written.

This is around the twentieth time I try to write to you and no matter how I start, no matter what I write, nothing seems right.

Anyway, all I want to do is apologise for running away. I never thought that we would fall in love and I never meant to hurt you.

I don’t know, how you’re feeling about me right now, but I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me. I beg you though, keep reading, I have a few things to say.

First of all, I want to say that I never cheated on you. I am however sick. I’ve been battling with cancer for the last year and still did when we were together. Remember the day when I fainted at the airport? That day Louis found out about my condition from my mother. He thought that it’d be best if I left and I did so.

He said that he was going to tell you that I cheated on you. This way you’d forget about me more easily. I sticked to the plan for a long time but now, I just can’t accept the idea of you thinking I’m someone I’m not. As I already said I’d never hurt you… even though I did.

I am at my father’s house now in Manchester and have decided to spent here my last days. I really hope that someday you can forgive how stupid and irresponsible I was.

I love you and I promise to take care of you from up there.

I wish this was different…

Caitlin x

 

I held the letter to my chest and cried. I didn’t know how much time I was crying but it was beginning to get dark outside. At first I considered to go to a hotel to spend the night but then I decided against it since the kids may worry about me.

Sitting on the driver’s seat, I re-read the letter at least ten more times. After a long time I decided to turn on my phone and text Elena even though she probably knew I’d be here. When I didn’t see any missed calls, I was sure she knew.

I’ll be home in a few hours. I’m on my way from Manchester. I love you. – H. I typed quickly.

I took one more deep breath before starting the car. Taking the letter from the passenger’s seat, I read it one more time.

I love you and I promise to take care of you from up there.

“I love you too Caitlin. I always will. I’ll always remember you, baby.” I replied and then drove back to my wife and my kids.

THE END.


End file.
